Love Deliberately
Alfina Lofaro
What Writing Revealed About Me
Writing this book revealed that I am capable of far more than I first expected of myself, and that life would open up in extraordinary ways because of it.
I had walked on fire. I had walked on glass. I had done things in the past that helped me understand that our minds are powerful beyond what we realise. But writing a book was different. It meant I had to believe I was capable of writing, that I had something important to say, and that it was possible to find the time while running a household and a business. I didn’t have the luxury of sitting in a cabin in the woods and simply being creative. I had to show up and write at the times I had scheduled, which wasn’t always easy, and things didn’t always flow. Luckily, I had support.
After the book, I also became someone who could build a personal brand, promote her work, get her name out there, and win an award. What is most amazing is that the book has brought me into new rooms — making new friends and having the experiences of a lifetime because I dared to write.
For Anyone Who Feels the Nudge
If you feel the nudge to write but keep holding back, here is what I want you to know: don’t do it alone.
Writing is, of course, a solo activity. But I had a coach who ran a writers’ incubator. We met each week for accountability and strategies. From that group, I found an accountability buddy, and we supported each other from opposite ends of the world — me in Australia, her in Majorca. A year after publishing, we are still there for each other, sharing ideas and resources, staying in contact, and cross-promoting each other’s work.
Here’s the thing about family and friends: they may never have written a book, and whilst their advice is well-meaning, it can come with comments like, “You don’t make money from writing a book,” or “Why write a book? Why not just run a workshop?” I got all of that advice and more. To make sure your own dreams and goals are not drowned out by other people’s noise, it is essential to build a team that truly supports you. At times, that noise can get loud and discouraging.
A cheer squad from the writing world was essential for me — not only to write, but to publish, and then to promote. You will need to do all three. And it is so much easier when you have experts and support around you who understand the journey from the inside.
The nudge you feel is real. Honour it. Just make sure you don’t answer it alone.
Listen to Episode 9 of My Friend Writes
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Purchase Love Deliberately: How to Be Less Sh!t at Relationships on Amazon
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