Crisis of Faith by Carrie Watts
My journey as a writer began in 2014…
… while I was homeschooling my three sons and directing a Classical Conversations community. One morning, earlier than usual, the Lord woke me up with a clear instruction: "Write your memoir." I hesitated at first, but then I made a deal with God: "I'll write it for You, Lord, but I won't share it until You make it clear. The door has to be wide open."
So, I started waking up at 4 a.m. instead of the usual 5 a.m. to write my story. As I wrote, I laughed, I cried, and I revisited the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of my life. There were moments of deep reflection on the struggles, but also joyous memories of the beautiful, fun experiences along the way. Writing my story in my forties became a deeply therapeutic journey—one that allowed me to process my past and the lessons I’d learned from my childhood until my mid forties.
In response to God's calling, I decided to join an online writing group called Hope*writers. I thought, "If God really wants me to write, I need to learn how." So, I began listening to their Tuesday Teachings, where authors shared how they structured their days, wrote in the "cracks" and "chunks" of time, and even whether they preferred tea or coffee. I immersed myself in every detail, taking copious notes and soaking in all of their valuable wisdom.
One of my favorite interviews was with Robin Jones Gunn, who has written over 100 books—mostly fiction, with the exception of one memoir. What stood out to me was her ability to tap into creativity, even during some of her most challenging life experiences. I connected with her story and found myself wondering if I, too, could write fiction. So, I delved into her work and followed her writing journey closely.
In Robin Jones Gunn's interview, I remember her sharing how much longer it took her to write her memoir compared to her fiction novels. Seeing her joy shine through as she discussed the creative process really resonated with me. So, when Hopewriters announced they were launching a publishing company called HopeBooks, I pitched my idea for a young adult Christian fiction novel about two best friends overcoming childhood trauma. At the time, I didn’t have a completed book, but I had an idea.
Trusting the process, attending weekly Zoom calls, and completing the homework assignments, I began my journey as an author. Once I submitted the outline, I felt confident I was on the right track. However, the sample chapter required several rewrites before my editor gave me permission to continue. He pushed me to dig deeper, challenging me to become a writer who could truly captivate a reader. My dialogue needed work, and I used too many exclamation marks. He also recommended I revisit some books on writing.
To be honest, his criticism was difficult to accept, but I knew he was right. There were many days I doubted my abilities and questioned whether I had truly heard God's call to write.
It was Stephen King’s book On Writing that pushed me out of my comfort zone and into the realm of deep storytelling. I found my own version of Stephen King, shaped by my faith, deep within myself, and began writing from the heart. Once my editor finally approved a sample chapter, I began to enjoy my writing time more and more. I would seek God’s wisdom, read the Bible, and ask Jesus for the words—and He would show up. Many days, I felt the Holy Spirit guiding my fingers across the keys.
Within a year and a half, I had a book ready to submit. Crisis of Faith was co-written by me, but God is the true author. To God be the glory, great things He has done.
I pray for the reader daily. May we all trust Jesus with all of our hearts and never lose hope!