The Quiet Work of Choosing Well
Discernment and the Discipline of Paying Attention
There is a quiet tension that exists in this life, especially in the moments when we find ourselves waiting to be chosen. We wait for a publisher, a client, or even an audience to recognize the work we have been doing in private, and over time, that waiting can begin to feel like the work itself.
But somewhere along the way, we forget something important.
We have the right to choose, too.
We were not created to step into every opportunity or walk through every open door. What looks like forward movement is not always aligned with the life we are being called to build.
I’ve always thought of patience as a passive state of mind. Over the last few days, I’ve listened to other women at a writing retreat and realized the importance of moving this discipline into a state that is active and aware. Active patience is built on paying attention to what is happening around you and within you at the same time.
Patience asks more of us than simply waiting. It invites us to slow down long enough to see clearly, to do the research, to ask better questions, and to pay attention to what feels rushed versus what feels right.
At the retreat this weekend, I said something I have been holding onto myself: If you pay attention, you are always where you need to be.
I believe that “being in the right place at the right time” is frequently a consequence of walking in step with the Spirit. That said, I also believe that just because He pointed you in a certain direction doesn’t mean you have to stay there. I would encourage you to linger in those sacred moments long enough to understand what is in front of you, and to pay attention to how the Spirit prompts you.
Maybe you met someone you were meant to help.
Maybe they were there to help you.
Maybe it was a passing conversation, or maybe it is the beginning of something that will stay with you.
Not every moment is meant to last, but every moment is worth noticing.
This is where discernment begins.
Discernment requires presence. It asks us to consider not just the next step, but also its direction and where it will lead over time. A decision made in haste can carry us somewhere we never intended to go. In contrast, a decision made with clarity has the potential to sustain us long after the initial excitement fades.
Discernment is something you sharpen. The more you practice it, the more quickly you begin to sense what fits, as well as what doesn’t. You start to recognize when something is aligned and when something is simply available.
When you make a choice that doesn’t serve you, you don’t have to stay there. Learn from it… let it inform you instead of define you, and then keep moving.
And over time, you begin to trust the quiet nudge that tells you to lean in or walk away.
Intentional movement requires you to stay engaged in your own process, ask better questions, and take responsibility for the direction you choose. You are not simply waiting to be chosen; you are learning to recognize what is right for you and how to step into it with clarity.
And that matters, especially when it comes to your professional relationships.
You don’t need to say yes to every opportunity or every person who is interested in your work. You’re allowed to be selective. You’re allowed to ask if this connection will make you better, if it will strengthen your voice, and if it will support the person you are becoming.
Friends, this is not about holding back or missing opportunities. It is about moving forward on purpose, considering the invitation to move with intention rather than urgency.
What is in front of you right now?
Does the opportunity align with where you are going, or does it simply feel like movement?
What is your gut telling you, beneath the noise and the pressure to decide quickly?
If you are paying attention, you will know.
And over time, as you continue to sharpen that awareness, you will reach a place where you can trust yourself to recognize whether you belong… and have the confidence to choose well.
Be happy 🧡